I have been an athlete most of my live. Participating in sporting events has always given me a sense of purpose and encouragement. Many years into my youth, I had an accident in a public swimming pool jumping off a second story diving board, long story short it ended up me having a herniated disc. So for those who don’t know what that is, it is the disc between 2 vertebrae’s that pops which in most cases presses against your nerves causing excessing pain and numbness, as it happened I had no feeling in my lower body, I was terrified but the feeling came back soon after and I was quite relieved, never realizing what has just happened in my back.
Several months later, I had my first back surgery when I was 16, the doctor told me I would never be able to do sports again. I was devastated and had no sense of purpose, I just became someone who was once a great athlete, who no longer had purpose and who was slowly being forgotten for the talent I had.
Many years later, despite all my other personal life struggles having several stepfathers and bouncing from home to home, its hard to image then the person I became despite so many bad choices I could have made, call it what you will, fate, destiny or someone looking out for me from above, I turned out to be the best version of myself.
Long story short, I started my first job. I worked in IT as a technician and I loved working will the cool gadgets and stuff, but I was often reminded that there was always something missing. That big void that I have been trying to fill ever since I couldn’t do any sports anymore just couldn’t be filled with anything else.
At the age of 23, I was told to get my second back surgery, this time it is far more serious. To receive a spinal fusion involves several long screws, some bone marrow and a cage to make 2 vertebrae’s into one. As straight forward as it sounds, it was terrifying for me as a young adult, not knowing how it would affect the rest of my life. After the surgery was over, I realized that there will be no chance for me to do any kind of physical sport every again and that there is no going back from this, it felt worse that the first time around, and its hard to try and replace something that you have loved for most of your live but also not have anything to replace it with…..